Nobody's Business, if even my own

have you ever felt like there is a part of yourself that is aching to be satisfied, but isn't and VERY sadly cannot be, not now, if ever (it feels like)? it is not a bad part of yourself...it is good in the right circumstances. but your desire to be satisfied in the reveling or acting on this part of yourself is so strong, that it consumes you and agonizes you. i feel to deny this part of myself for much longer is intolerable. what do i desire more, to embrace this part of me or to abide by the law of God. to obey the law of God. then i will hold onto this part of myself for as long as i can, although it kills me to hide it, to repress it. i feel that to hold on to it much longer is to ruin me, and so i will hold onto it until i can no more, and then i will kill this part of myself and be cold-hearted to that aspect of me, even tho i am better with it and worse off without it, but such is life. the refining fire burns hot and sometimes we must die to ourselves to live in Christ. so be it, but it does feel like death, and DENIABLY somewhat of a pity




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This brings to mind my post from February 13th... i refuse to knowingly allow myself to be vulnerable to the enemy's temptations by permitting my dissatisfaction to overcome me. Thus, how can i turn this situtation, this STRUGGLE, over to my God, who is capable of healing all my pains and making me completely fulfilled? I will turn this over to Him, and ask Him to take this part of me which He created (but which I may have nurtured too much or in the wrong way) and help me channel it how He wills. This should be EXCITING! PLEASE LORD PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i thrust You, NO MATTER WHAT <3

Upon wondering what "Hosanna" means...If I'm gonna be singing worship I'm gonna be knowing what I am saying...

In traditional Aramaic or Hebrew it means "help" or "save, I pray" and is specifically addressing a divine being, ie the God of the universe.

In Christianity it is both a cry for salvation and a declaration of praise.

SO COOL!

Thanks Wikipedia :D ... just the beginning of my looking into the word Hosanna, next check my Lexical Aid/Concordance Bible. (I don't know which one is what I need, don't know what they are called, do know how to use em.)

The good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away, and I choose to be thankful to Him in all things! Allowing myself to feel unsatisfied opens up opportunities for Satan to get at me, and, uh, no thanks...

Why do I concern myself so much with what other people think about me? Concerning men, I want to love a man for who he is, not who he tries to be so that I will like him. Similarly, I want a man to love me for who I am. I do not want to have to try to be perfect to win and keep his affections. I think my major issue is that I put far too much value on how my peers view me, and totally neglect how my God sees me. I am constantly striving for physical perfection, while knowing it is unattainable, thus making myself miserable in this attempt to store up my treasures here on earth verses where they will last forever. I am constantly being barrauded by feelings of guilt when I eat. I am tired of listening to the accuser. I choose to listen to my Savior, the one who loves me so much that He gave His life and freed me forever from all condemnation. God, if I eat this bowl of chili, and I have it with cheese and crackers, will you still love me? YES! Will my worth go down in your eyes? NO WAY! I LOVE YOU LORD!

insight to my needs

There is a difference between knowing you are loved and feeling cherished. I want both.

On Marriage and Family Life

1. What to me defines success as a wife? As a mother? As a provider?
2. What are my unspoken rules and expectations?
3. What are things I want to have in common with my husband? (i.e. What activities do I want to be able to share with him?)
4. What roles do I expect to play in my marriage? What roles do I expect to definitely not have to play?
5. What do I expect to gain from marriage?
6. What might I have to sacrifice in order to gain what I want to gain from marriage, and am I willing to make those sacrifices?
   
7. How important is “meaningful touch” to me? Am I a high contact person or a low contact person?

Rawr means "I love you" in dinosaur. It also means, "I miss you" and "I'm hungry" and "I'm really hungry. I'm going to eat you, so you better run!"

I'm in love with my bed. But my alarm clock won't let us be together...

I stepped on a cornflake. Does that mean I'm a cereal killer?

I wish I could record my dreams, and watch them later :) .

I don't miss you...I miss who you were.

"Can you do me a favor?" "Sure." "Can you go up the stairs and..." "No(:"

I saw a picture of a giraffe. It said, "Moo. I'm a goat."

If Google can't find it, you're screwed.

I don't know Marge. Trying is the first step to failure. ~Homer Simpson

Bloom where you are planted.

Love is the only justice. ~Iris Murdoch

Entranced in my reverie, I am isolated and alone. ~Brennan Manning

Servanthood is not an emotion or mood or feeling; it is a decision to live like Jesus.

"a society marinating in its own incestuous self-interest"

One imponderable trait of the human psyche is its ability to make irrational judgments about worthwhile human investments also with its refusal to view life in light of eternity.

JESUS ACTED OUT HIS PASSION FOR THE FATHER WHOSE INDISCRIMINATE LOVE ALLOWS HIS RAIN TO FALL ON HONEST AND DISHONEST MEN ALIKE.

Faith tells us we are Abba's beloved children.

The "poverty of uniqueness" is the call of Jesus to stand utterly alone when the only alternative is to cut a deal at the price of one's integrity. It is a lonely yes to the whispers of our true self, a clinging to our core identity when companionship and community support are withheld.

Passion is not high emotion but a steely determination, fired by love, to stay centered in the awareness of Christ's present risenness, a driveness to remain rooted in the truth of who I am, and a readiness to pay the price of fidelity.

Chances are, the last time you really had fun was spontaneous, after you threw off your inhibitions...The secret to enjoying uninhibited spontaneity as a Christian is to remove unscriptural inhibitors...Chief among the inhibitors of Christian fun is our fleshly tendency to keep up appearances..."Who cares what people say!? I care what God says; I stopped playing for the grandstand a long time ago when I started playing for the coach." ....It is a lot more fun trying to please the Lord than trying to please people.

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. ~Jim Elliot