Rawr means "I love you" in dinosaur. It also means, "I miss you" and "I'm hungry" and "I'm really hungry. I'm going to eat you, so you better run!"

I'm in love with my bed. But my alarm clock won't let us be together...

I stepped on a cornflake. Does that mean I'm a cereal killer?

I wish I could record my dreams, and watch them later :) .

I don't miss you...I miss who you were.

"Can you do me a favor?" "Sure." "Can you go up the stairs and..." "No(:"

I saw a picture of a giraffe. It said, "Moo. I'm a goat."

If Google can't find it, you're screwed.

I don't know Marge. Trying is the first step to failure. ~Homer Simpson

Bloom where you are planted.

Love is the only justice. ~Iris Murdoch

Entranced in my reverie, I am isolated and alone. ~Brennan Manning

Servanthood is not an emotion or mood or feeling; it is a decision to live like Jesus.

"a society marinating in its own incestuous self-interest"

One imponderable trait of the human psyche is its ability to make irrational judgments about worthwhile human investments also with its refusal to view life in light of eternity.

JESUS ACTED OUT HIS PASSION FOR THE FATHER WHOSE INDISCRIMINATE LOVE ALLOWS HIS RAIN TO FALL ON HONEST AND DISHONEST MEN ALIKE.

Faith tells us we are Abba's beloved children.

The "poverty of uniqueness" is the call of Jesus to stand utterly alone when the only alternative is to cut a deal at the price of one's integrity. It is a lonely yes to the whispers of our true self, a clinging to our core identity when companionship and community support are withheld.

Passion is not high emotion but a steely determination, fired by love, to stay centered in the awareness of Christ's present risenness, a driveness to remain rooted in the truth of who I am, and a readiness to pay the price of fidelity.

Chances are, the last time you really had fun was spontaneous, after you threw off your inhibitions...The secret to enjoying uninhibited spontaneity as a Christian is to remove unscriptural inhibitors...Chief among the inhibitors of Christian fun is our fleshly tendency to keep up appearances..."Who cares what people say!? I care what God says; I stopped playing for the grandstand a long time ago when I started playing for the coach." ....It is a lot more fun trying to please the Lord than trying to please people.

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose. ~Jim Elliot

Sanctification

My inner struggle is requiring personal sacrifice in order to win the battle. This isn't a change that will happen slowly outwardly as a result of inward change. This is a change that happens slowly on the inside after the outside is changed. I need to treat the symptoms first, so that I have the clarity of mind to resolve the real issues. My symptoms are hiding the root cause. To do away with the symptoms is to expose the deeper issue. Sometimes we have to face our fears instead of trying to make sure they never come to reality. Facing my fears is the personal sacrifice. I may have to be hungry every once in a while. I may not get to eat the foods I want to eat. But I do get to be set free from this bondage. And after time, I will again get to eat the foods I want; I won't have to deprive myself of them. But for now, I must face my fears, and trust that God will bring me through them to the other side, where there is freedom and light.

Email From Gradma Ginny

One day a woman's husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't "anymore". No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more "just one minute." Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you."

So while we have it, it's best we love it, care for it, fix it when it's broken and heal it when it's sick. This is true for marriage.....And old cars... And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Concerning My Fears

"What will God do if ... ?"

He WILL:

perfect everything that concerns me (Psalm 138:8, KJV).
work all things together for my good (Romans 8:28).
contend with those who contend with me (Isaiah 49:25).
fight this battle for me (2 Chronicles 20:15).
equip me with divine power (2 Corinthians 10:4).
delight to show me mercy (Micah 7:18).
meet all my needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19).
give me grace that is perfectly sufficient (2 Corinthians 12:9).
do immeasurably more than all I could ask or imagine, according to the power that is at work within me (Ephesians 3:20).



(Beth Moore book)

Something That We Do ~Clint Black

I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
I still believe the words we said
Forever will ring true

Love is certain, love is kind
Love is yours and love is mine
But it isn’t something that we find
It’s something that we do

It’s holding tight, lettin’ go
It’s flying high and laying low
Let your strongest feelings show
And your weakness, too

It’s a little and a lot to ask
An endless and a welcome task
Love isn’t something that we have
It’s something that we do

We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that you can’t tell where I end and where you start

It gives me heart remembering how
We started with a simple vow
There’s so much to look back on now
Still it feels brand-new

We’re on a road that has no end
And each day we begin again
Love’s not just something that we’re in
It’s something that we do

We help to make each other all that we can be
Though we can find our strength and inspiration independently
The way we work together is what sets our love apart
So closely that you can’t tell where I end and where you start

Love is wide, love is long
Love is deep and love is strong
Love is why I love this song
And I hope you love it too

I remember well the day we wed
I can see that picture in my head
Love isn’t just those words we said
It’s something that we do
There’s no request too big or small
We give ourselves, we give our all
Love isn’t someplace that we fall
It’s something that we do

Drinking Up Love

two of the most important people in my life have told me that i "drink up love." the first was my mom... she says that i take and take and never give. i drain people's love tanks but never refill them. i ceaselessly "drink up love." I am needy. the second was Seth. He told me that I am more like a Labrador than a pit-bull...no matter how much love someone can give me I can take it all and more. Does this mean he thinks I am never satisfied? or high maintenance? do i make him feel like his love is insufficient? Am I never satisfied? Do I drain love tanks?

this question is almost too much to answer...it requires looking a little too deeply into myself. who am i? I AM A CHILD OF GOD. believe feel believe trust know...yes. no doubt no question.

so do i drain love tanks? yes, i do. the question is, do i pour out love? am i needy to the point of co-dependence, where everything is never enough? no. not anymore. i am co-dependent indeed, but only on Christ. I need Him always. always with me, always in me,every decision helping me decide what to do and who to be. I am ONLY who He says I am.

Lord, fill me up with Your Love, so that my love tank is forever full and ever ready to pour. God is Love. I Love Love!

Funny little poem by me

dink. dink. dink.
goes the water into my sink
from the faucet into a pool
my sink is plugged and I have no tool
the plug stays closed, I don't know why
it is so annoying I think I might cry
my counter is cluttered up to the brink
up to the rink of the sink are my things
I hope they don't fall cuz that would be gross
for my sink to be fixed is what i want the most
...and yet...
dink...dink...dink...
goes the water into my sink...

Note to self, from Beth Moore book

In the breaking of every habit, someone wills it first and feels it later. Whatever you do, don't shrug your shoulders and decide the prospect is too hard to do and too much too ask. What could be harder than fighting a lifelong battle [with insecurity]? Thank God we don't have to wait until we feel more secure to start acting more secure. That's the heart of living by faith ntil we live by sight. We act on the basis of scriptural fact and supernatural power [rather than merciful feelings].


It starts with a whole new action and ends with a whole new attitude. The action gets the security to the surface, the attitude keeps the security at the surface.

We can be humbled without also being insecure.

Exerpts from "The Shack" ... by William P. Young

ON RELATIONSHIP VERSUS PRINCIPLES AND RULES
...Religion is about having the right answers, and some of their answers are right. But I am about the process that takes you to the living answer and once you get to him, he will change you from the inside. There are a lot of smart people who are able to say a lot of right things because they have been told what the right answers are, but they don't know Me at all. So really, how can their answers be right even if they are right, if you understand my drift? ...So even though they might be right, they are still wrong.

ON THE PRESENCE OF GOD
You might see Me in a piece of art, or music, or silence, or through people, or in Creation, or in your joy and sorrow. My ability to communicate is limitless, living and transforming, and it will always be tuned to Papa's goodness and love. And you will hear and see me in the Bible in fresh ways. Just don't look for rules and principles; look for relationship - a way of coming to be with Us [Papa, Jesus, Holy Spirit].

John 15: 27

"I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid."

Ephesians 2:8-9

For it is by grace you have been saved through faith-and this not of yourselves, but it is a gift from God-not by works, so that none may boast.

Proverbs 18:24

A man of many companions comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 30:31

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Heart Struggles

HIS NAME IS JESUS. the Lord Almighty, the Lord of my heart, the King of Glory. Please save me from myself. I thank you for letting me die to myself so that I can live with you. there is no comparison. but i still push away those i love. i love you and you know the man i care about. HELP ME DO THE RIGHT THING, YOUR WAY. whatever that might be. please. help me.

insights from marky

I have learned that when I say or think things like, "i am a horrible person, no one should be my friend" and "if someone is friends with me then they must not be that good of a person" i am devaluing my friends. when i can't love myself for who i am and i think no one should love me, i am basically saying that God is wrong because He loves me. Who am i to second guess God... if God loves me I must be extremely special.

revelations

moderation is good

changing me so other people are happier is ok, changing me so other people love me is not

i really do love myself

i really do believe God has a plan for my life. i believe He created me with purpose, not just willy nilly.

i finally not only understand intellectually, but now feel in my heart that my life is not mine to take, my life belong's to Christ :)

these are big steps in my life

Expectations...

Sometimes I feel so much pressure to be that person people expect me to be. Or maybe they don't expect it. I can't be happy all the time. But if I am not I let people down. I guess I like people who are real. Act sad when they are, show insecurities, etc. As long as they aren't extreme with there "downisms"... The fact remains that I have a lot to be thankful for and a God who promises me He will take care of my tomorrows so that I never have to worry. That seems like more than enough to make this a happy day.

On the value of Me

Secret motion sly little thoughts. you never deceive even tho you slither through my conscious O no no but you do deceive deceive so well i am deceived into believing i am not. how can i trust my own thoughts. i cannot. how can i believe my own eyes my own perceptions of reality. i cannot. what can i believe??? I can believe in a Love bigger than me, bigger than my thoughts, bigger than my perceptions. Circular reasoning yes. yet i still believe. there must be a Truth, or existence would not exist. Proof or deception? yes yet i still believe i have found the Source of Truth, and it is You.

Contentment

I am happy O so happy that life is never climaxed. There is always more to come. But for now, this is enough :)

Leona Lewis, thank you for "Better With Time."

HOPE!

Today, a miracle happened. No doubt it WAS a miracle... the miracle of an answered prayer! O Lord, I have been struggling! I can't remember how let myself feel loved by You, I can remember, but I can't grasp it. Finding good in myself is like trying to grasp a flake in bathwater-every attempt just pushes it farther away. Everything is vanity! Solomon's depression is inching into my heart. Give me hope Lord, give me a sign, show me you have something more for me than this burdened life that is my self-made prison! I have walled myself in and I can't reach the top of the ledge, I can see it from here, but there is just NO WAY to get there.
Then Today. TODAY! I can't take this anymore. I'm desperate! I see myself going where I was, and I AM SCARED. TO DEATH. In a desperate attempt, a pathetic attempt, a hopeless attempt to find, well... hope... I walk into Walgreens pharmacy. How much does it cost to get my anti-depressant prescription with no insurance? Ninety dollars. A month. NO WAY. Can't afford that, not even close. Oh wait, have you heard of our membership? NO... Twenty dollars annual membership fee, and you can get your prescription for eleven dollars a month.
THANK YOU LORD. I LOVE YOU COMPLETELY. I KNOW YOU MUST LOVE ME IN A SPECIAL SPECIAL WAY. I NEVER WANT TO LOSE YOU. NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER LEAVE ME, PLEASE. I NEED YOU.

Priorities...

Lately it is hard to keep my eyes on the goal, at least when hard times come. Am I smart enough to finish school, am I in the right field, will I do anything to make me special?? My conscience is in a swirl to discern the answers to these questions. I want to do well in school, but the effort exhausts me. Failure disheartens me. Five years in college! Failure! Out of shape, FAILURE! Never pretty enough, failure. The list goes on, and as I think of my short comings, I begin to feel sick. How can I ever take care of a family; how can I ever make my parents proud? I want to be a good person but I am so weak, so needy... When I step outside myself and do the things I want to do, life is good.

I feel my prison of a mental dependence on an external reassurance is prohibiting life from reaching me. No time for school work, must ___. No energy to work out, already ___. Hate my body, comfort myself by ___ing and un___ing. I must have my cake and eat it too... gluttony, selfishness, slave to my flesh.

But I am REASSURED in Romans that if I died with Christ than I am no longer a slave to my flesh. But I am enslaved to my flesh. Very enslaved. By choice? Perhaps... although I know I cannot free myself on my own. I DEFINITELY REQUIRE HELP! HELP ME, LORD! HELP ME! Save me from this pit of a life I am doomed to live in my current state. The air is contaminated, thick with despair. I cling to my self-reliance via vices that kill me and ruin my experience of life. I would submit to be shattered if the act would save me from myself.

Show me the way, give me the strength, give me the will. Give me YOUR WILL.

Well Shoot

I'm in love. Head over head heals. Too bad I'm in a relationship with someone else.


I have never been the one to break off a relationship...and I don't really know how. I don't want to hurt anyone. AND, I know this "other person" that I care deeply for would never enter into a romantic relationship with me. It's just that it is wrong for me to date one and love another. I am torn as to what is right and what is wrong. I don't even care whether or not I stay with my boyfriend, but I do care about hurting him. I do not want to hurt him. No no no no no. How do I do this?

Complementary Opposites

Gentle Flake

My friends say that I have been very flaky lately (as in the past four months or so). Of course I definitely don't want to make my friends feel undervalued by blowing them off... yet, I keep falling through on my promises. So, the question is, WHY? I don't want to push away the people I love, and I enjoy spending time with them. I have given this some thought. Maybe I am exhausted and hanging out takes too much energy. Maybe I am subconsciously sabotaging myself. Maybe I actually just don't care how my actions affect others; am I all about ME? My mother always told me that I am a fair weather friend. I am a friend to someone only as long as it benifits me. I always thought she was portraying her own shortcomings onto me. Now I wonder...

The good news is that if these character flaws are more than imagined then I can change them. Just because I have a negative disposition does not mean my actions must portray it. The bad news, my mother may have been right. What else may she have been right about? Am I manipulative, greedy, vain??? O the self searching... exhausting and never yields a conclusive answer.

Maybe rather than dwell on what I do wrong I should focus on what I would like to do right! No love is unconditional except one. Thus, friends can only take so much mistreatment before they disappear. This doesn't make them shallow or love any less than I love; it means they are human. We love because we first were loved.