Today, a miracle happened. No doubt it WAS a miracle... the miracle of an answered prayer! O Lord, I have been struggling! I can't remember how let myself feel loved by You, I can remember, but I can't grasp it. Finding good in myself is like trying to grasp a flake in bathwater-every attempt just pushes it farther away. Everything is vanity! Solomon's depression is inching into my heart. Give me hope Lord, give me a sign, show me you have something more for me than this burdened life that is my self-made prison! I have walled myself in and I can't reach the top of the ledge, I can see it from here, but there is just NO WAY to get there.
Then Today. TODAY! I can't take this anymore. I'm desperate! I see myself going where I was, and I AM SCARED. TO DEATH. In a desperate attempt, a pathetic attempt, a hopeless attempt to find, well... hope... I walk into Walgreens pharmacy. How much does it cost to get my anti-depressant prescription with no insurance? Ninety dollars. A month. NO WAY. Can't afford that, not even close. Oh wait, have you heard of our membership? NO... Twenty dollars annual membership fee, and you can get your prescription for eleven dollars a month.
THANK YOU LORD. I LOVE YOU COMPLETELY. I KNOW YOU MUST LOVE ME IN A SPECIAL SPECIAL WAY. I NEVER WANT TO LOSE YOU. NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER LEAVE ME, PLEASE. I NEED YOU.
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