What are the things that matter to me? Do I espouse ideas for which I have no firm conviction? Am I lazy?
Why don't you tell me. I don't want to think about it.
I profess love for a god who hates homosexuality, who condemns those who can't recognize him as The God to hell. How logical is that? Being a person who has been introduced to Jesus, I am honestly in a place where I can see how someone might not believe. Sure, there are high emotional moments that may seem as though God is communicating with me, but those are fleeting, and I think that they are created by my perceptions of reality. Ugh, I want to write clearly. I feel like the wondrous emotional moments I have when I am worshipping God might not be coming from a close connection with God, but rather from the idea that I have (at the time I am worshipping) that God is near me. I don't want to believe in a god that condemns good, moral people to hell. I don't want to believe in a god that condemns very devout Muslims and Buddhists and Jews and other people who have devoted their life to faith/spirituality. I know gay and lesbian and bisexual individuals who are giving much more back to society and in general are more kind and thoughtful and generous people than many fundamentalist Christians I know.
I feel like if I am going to doubt the fundamentalist beliefs that homosexuality is wrong and that non-Christians who live good lives are condemned to eternal damnation, then I have to doubt everything about the Christian faith and its scripture. If the Bible really is the inspired Word of God, then everything in it should be absolutely completely accurate. In that case, what the Bible deems to be good/bad would trump my inner convictions based on the experiences I have had. However, if the Bible is in anyway inaccurate, inconsistent, or contradictory, then it cannot be a divine book.
I don't think homosexuality is wrong. I think sexuality is a spectrum and no one is completely straight or gay. I guess this means that I think gender is probably separate from sexuality.
I am not okay with condemning people who are different from me, and I never will be. I can't say what you do is wrong unless it hurts others, in the present or in the future. That's it.
(PLEASE) Love me anyway...
i wrestle with this too, lara. i have SO many 'right' Christian answers i could spew out, but they would be said half-heartedly. my only word of advice is to seek God out on these things that are hard to handle; he won't take offense to your wanting to understand and make sense. ask Him to help you and He gladly will (James 1:5- If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.) miss you, lady, and i'm praying alongside you (:
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