Wednesday, January 18, 2012
I am figuring out the source of my lonliness!
I have been direly missing Brittnay Hofer lately. She was my friend that I could be passionate about Christ with, and with whom there were no games. She was quick to admit her short comings but always joyous in the forgiveness she received and the blessings she was given. It is funny to say these things in the past tense, she still exists!!! She just hasn't been a part of my daily life ever since she moved. I guess I moved too. Anyway, I need to find a new way to fulfill this need in my life. There is a Bible Study that happens every Thursday night here in Mission and I'm going. I'm not getting my hopes up for it to be anything special. I'm desperate. Church on Sunday is not enough and I feel it. Living with Mark was the biggest blessing of my life because I had another Christian there with me all the time, and we could have conversations centered on Christ whenever we wanted, and we could listen to one another's struggles and give feedback based on what the Word of God says. It was amazing, but I didn't realize how valuable it was when I had it. I miss constant fellowship so much. SO MUCH. I think this is where my loneliness comes from: not having anyone in my everyday who shares my desire for Jesus.
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I understand that. For a few years during college, a friend and I became prayer partners - b/c we wanted to be, not b/c we were set up to be (although I had those prayer partners, too). It was such a blessing to meet with her each week and be honest about what we needed prayer for and to intentionally pray for another that shared their struggles with me. Jordan and I pray together, but I guess it's different than having a girlfriend to pray with.
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